Byebye '09

Today is the last day of 2009. This statement, is of course for the sake of my future self when I read back and wonder what this is all about. Im forgetful that way. This is also for you people who bother to read my musings. You're 40% of the people I want to extend this to. This week last year, I'd been reflecting on what a horrible year 2008 was, full of ill-gotten victories and misdirections. 2009, on the other hand, was straitforward and radical. 2009 saw the best and worst days of my life to date. I lost close family members, through death and estrangement. I found and lost love. I found and lost hope. I've had severe bouts of depression where I couldn't leave my room to even eat for days. I've had days where I felt like I was on top of the world and that nothing could get to me. This is the year I officially stopped being a teenager, when the pressure of adult life and independence actually sunk in. I'd been able to fulfill dreams, I'd had some questions answered, self identity crises resolved, new worlds had been revealed to me (yay WOD and accent movehz!), old things came back to haunt me. I became part of Hastang, to whom I am thankful for the opportunity to be able to perform and write my songs. I'd done things I never thought I would do, or get around to. This year also saw me getting rid of masochism and procrastination (I'm almost there!). I went back to building skills for things I'd dropped long ago, and I earned and learned new skills through exploring interests. My life philosophies found names, and I'm still deciding whether I'm happy that I'm not alone, or pissed that I'm not the one who came up with this shit. I made a lot of mistakes in the process but the mistakes only made the little victories sweeter. There were more downs than ups. But that only made the ups more special by contrast. For all of you who were part of it, for those of you who helped make this year crazy and memorable, I wouldn't have had it any other way. Thanks. Bring on the new year. :)