Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Jane was better than Tarzan

Those in Bold have been accomplished.

1.)Learn how to drive a car
2.)Earn $1000 (Just to know how it feels like)
3.)Cook a full course meal
4.)Learn how to sew (tried and failed. My fingers refuse to weild the needle)
5.)Write a book
6.)Climb a mountain
7.)Film an indie flick
8.)Sell a print on DA (lulz)
9.)Go to Bohol
10.)Pose nude
11.)Organize a surprise party (also tried and failed. twice.)
12.)Contribute to Reader's Digest
13.)Make the Dean's list (ala lang)
14.)LARP
15.)Learn how to speak another language
16.)Visit another country
17.)See someone die
18.)Watch a birthing
19.)Perform onstage for theater
20.)Have an album launched for my band, Dama de Noche

Tarzan lived in the mountains all his life. Jane just learned to adjust.

I didn't really go on a real climb, but a mountain trek. My mom says that counts for accomplishing #6. But I still want to get to the top of a mountain at least once while I still can.

We crossed the sea to get to the tip of Northern Leyte to hunt for the perfect Mahogany tree for several building projects my mom's starting on. The said tree was deep in a family friend's property in the forests of Caryucan. All mommy had to do was pick which one she wanted, and they'd have it chopped up in planks and posts to be delivered to our beach.

Our hosts were the Dagotdots, relatives through my Lolo Tonio's side. Their house, built in the 60's, was a bigger version than the one lolo built in Naval, albeit with a lower ceiling.

Mommy's cousin, Uncle Jun2, dropped us off at Tito Apollo's place. Although the trip was short, the roads were rough.

Tito Pol was the modern day Tarzan. He loled us with stories for every plant. He insisted that one was a cure for cancer, while another was a cure for AIDS. And although I doubt his expertise on the medicinal properties of his plants (he'd named a weird berry the AIDS cure 6 years ago, when I first visited), he doesnt have a single white hair on his head. And the supposed Cancer cure had yummy leaves.

He insisted on living alone on his 50-hectare property, and had been married once, to a woman who has been around the world after divorcing him. Out of the marriage came two children, who he says care nothing about the outdoors. Hermitage comes with its downs too. He told me he'd make me eligible for inheritance if I could live there and take care of him in his old age. My mom joked that he'd have a private room reserved at the hospital if that was the case. :))

The haciendero led the way up the mountain, piping that he used to take that trek everyday some years ago. My mom asked us to stop about a quarter of the trek to catch her breath. We got to a clearing where the trail was lined by a row of flowering Maria de Cacao. On the left was a corn field and a little hut. Picture perfect. I regret not owning a camera.

Onwards was another field, except the corn stalks hadnt grown yet. Beyond were huge trees and white migratory birds on the boughs. The trail was to the left, so I couldnt go near enough to place what trees those were.

Half the trek was a man-made forest of young Mahogany, and a little beyond it were golden bamboo. There was a sad little pomelo fruit in the grass, with a chip in it's skin. For the rest of the trek, I tore at it with my bare hands and gobbled it up. So that it would party with the tapa I had earlier in the day and would no longer be sad.

Then the ground started getting muddier. I left my slippers in a neat little pile while my mom's fell into the mud. After my mom picked her tree(s), we went back, hunted for her slippers, then went back to Tito Pol's shed to collect more plants.

My mom pointed out a rock to me, and told me everything growing on it had medicinal properties. Before that point, I thought they were just weeds. She had me collect a bunch of Tawa-tawa, with the roots. I'd collected some other form of weed and brought it to my mom, hoping it was still useful. Apparently not. >.<

We went back to the house green and red (from scratches incurred in the forest) and met a very shy (albeit articulate) 2 -year old. Her name was Lara and she was plump, the way I was when I was her age. Within an hour, I had managed to trick her to let me carry her. She was as adorable as she was heavy. Very very.

By evening, she had made me her shoe-fitter/sandal-strapper/vicks-applier/fruit-peeler/gift-unwrapper/trash-bearer, etc etc. in short, her personal slave. Muwehehehe.

There was nothing else to do at night, except sleep. I tried remembering all the weird horror stories I heard the last time I was in those parts, but instead of scaring me, the memories coupled with the sea breeze and the thrashing mango trees out the windows put me to sleep (only for me to wake up at 1am due to insomnia).

Before we went home, my mom got herself handfuls (mine) of ornamental plants. Then we hopped onto a boat and rode the waves back home. Booyah.

I'd love to go back sometime to visit. I'd actually rather live there in the breaks than in Naval. If only there were wifi, it'd be perfect.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Taken from Ate Al

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?

- Acquired a nightlife(?); learned how to drive; went to an orphanage; sang and danced to madonna; starred in an indie flick; went to Bohol; posed nude for a painting; LARPed; etc etc etc

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

- I didn't make any :D

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

- None that I know of

4. Did anyone close to you die?

- None this year.

5. What countries did you visit?

- None. :(

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?

- Money :(

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

- Thinking of less incriminating dates... err, fail >.<

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

- Being honest to myself

9. What was your biggest failure?

- Not being able to manage my time more efficiently

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

- Yup, every now and then

11. What was the best thing you bought?

- Felix XD

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

- Secret. But patience is a good thing. Thanks :D

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

- Miscommunication can be a bitch. Secret din.

14. Where did most of your money go?

- Food -_-;;

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

- DnD

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?

- I Touch Myself - Jack Off Jill

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? Happier. I feel loved this season compared to the last.

ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter, but fitter atm, I just came from the gym

iii. richer or poorer? Poorer. hahaha. More stuff to spend on

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?

- I wish I was more assertive with what I wanted

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?

- procrastinate

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

- in the arms of food and artificial lurve

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?

- Yep

23. How many one-night stands?

- Wouldnt you like to know?

24. What was your favorite TV program?

- I didn't see much TV. There was Dexter tho...

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

- Sorta. Not enough to merit hate tho. Just indignation.

26. What was the best book you read?

- Brother Todd, Dean Koontz.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

- Jack Johnson

28. What did you want and got?

- A white wig; a laptop; a couple of fellow insomniacs

-Note: I just copy-pasted this "survey" from a friend's page and it's really missing 29.- (I think this anomaly has made this meme unique, hehehe.)

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

- 10000 BC. I liked it. But the bulk of movies I'd seen this year weren't from 2008

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

- I was doing a pictorial in a bikini. Zy said if she didn't know me, she'd think I looked like a sun person. I turned 19

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

- A secretary. Haha.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?

- More laid back. More comfy. More t-shirts.

34. What kept you sane?

- RPG

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

- Elvira, mistress of the dark, Cassandra Peterson irl

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

- Local politics, particularly where local celebrities are prioritized over social services. no further comment.

37. Who did you miss?

- I miss my band

38. Who was the best new person you met?

- Too many to mention.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:

- To be able to be everywhere, nobody has to notice

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

- Jai Guru Deva Om (if I were feeling more emo right now, I'd prolly come up with a better phrase)

Friday, December 26, 2008

The Tale of Two Sisters

I am bored out of my wits. There is absolutely nobody to talk to here for intellectual stimulation. Anyway, to make up for it, my dreams have become trippy once again. The day before, I had a dream about a terrorist attack that turned into sap. Today, I was at a pool with old friends from High School (ones I acquired towards graduation). As soon as I got home, I checked mail for a bit and went to sleep. The following is what I can make out of the last dream I had before waking up:

[18:18] Pangs: bumbumbum
[18:18] Pangs: you are in a dream world. your fingers will soon melt into clouds of orange caterpillars. Enjoy your flamingo.
[18:18] mute_laughter89:
[18:18] mute_laughter89: i achuli WAS in the dreamworld a few minutes ago
[18:19] mute_laughter89: in the dream,
[18:19] mute_laughter89: there were two girls with us
[18:19] mute_laughter89: in the rubble of a building
[18:19] mute_laughter89: one of them was wearing a chipped bow
[18:19] mute_laughter89: as if the bow were made of ceramic
[18:19] mute_laughter89: the girls were half sisters and cousins
[18:19] mute_laughter89: cousins through their mothers who were sisters
[18:20] mute_laughter89: the one with the chipped bow was supposed to have been the well off one for some reason
[18:20] mute_laughter89: the girls found an electric plug
[18:21] mute_laughter89: that opened to a hollow in a corner in the wall
[18:21] mute_laughter89: and in the corner was the head of a fetus
[18:21] mute_laughter89: which was connected to another zombified fetus
[18:21] mute_laughter89: and another and another
[18:21] mute_laughter89: colorful in fernes
[18:21] mute_laughter89: they linked to what looked like two pyramids connected to each other to look like a diamond.
[18:22] mute_laughter89: and the world shattered as soon as we realized what the thing was
[18:23] mute_laughter89: then we follow the adventures of the two girls
[18:23] mute_laughter89: who'd appear briefly in a memory
[18:23] mute_laughter89: Apparently they were the existence of two possibilities
[18:23] mute_laughter89: if the other was to be born, the other would not
[18:23] mute_laughter89: or summink like that

In my dream, I saw the girls in random places around Manila --Places I'd been to back when I still lived there and during my internship. There was a brief interval where I searched a house for my toothbrush.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Xmasness

I went to mass with the family tonight since mommy's choir was going to be singing christmas carols. The priest gave a funny story in the middle of his sermon. It wasn't meant to be funny, but my mind does weird things to information. The story he told was of San Antonio de Padua. According to the priest, San Antonio opened the doors for carollers when he was still a little kid. One day, he opened the door to a kid his age. The kid had a sack with him. This is the conversation that ensued:

Antonio: You want bread?
Kid with sack: *shakes head* I want something else
Antonio: Whachu got in the sack?
Kid with sack: *opens sack, full of human hearts* I want your heart
Antonio: ...


YOU MUST BE JESUS!


Remember kids, the next time some stranger asks for any of your vital organs, you have to readily offer it, along with your life and your soul, and those of your family members. Merry Xmas ;)

Also, my good friend Zy pointed out that
1. There were no carollers round the parts where Antonio de Padua grew up. Carollers, btw, are Francis of Assisi's fault. This piece of info is c/o my good friend Zyra
2. Anthony grew up in a wealthy household. They had DOORMEN to open gates; then doors for carollers. If there were any carollers. Which there weren't.


~~~

I wonder where my brother went with my christmas money...

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Break na tayo

After an entire night playing Guitar Hero at a friend's place last night, I hopped onto the first Supercat boat heading Ormoc and slept through most of the trip. Despite trying to get off the boat earlier than others to catch a van to Naval, there were none for at least 30 minutes. Despite the crappy circumstances that I'm more than happy to forget about surrounding that Van ride, I slept through most of it and arrived in Naval in an hour and 30.

I was met by insane guitar duets by the Lucente brothers (my cousins rawk) and a newly shaved formerly badjao brother on my bed. I unpacked, fell on a bed, and slept.

I was prolly asleep for 3 hours when the youngest Lucente, Dan, glomped me. I felt a tickling sensation on the sole of my foot and I snapped at Dan to leave me alone. Apparently it was my mom, come to ask if I'd dropped off my laundry downstairs to be attended to >.<;;

xmas break na talaga :3

~~~

When I regain my faculties, I shall blog about the DnD game yesterday. I missed Cravenwall too. And I've levelled up XD

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Update on my 20 before 20 list

It's December, and I have 4 months before I turn 20.
Those in italics have been accomplished.

1.)Learn how to drive a car
2.)Earn $1000 (Just to know how it feels like)
3.)Cook a full course meal
4.)Learn how to sew (tried and failed. My fingers refuse to weild the needle)
5.)Write a book
6.)Climb a mountain
7.)Film an indie flick
8.)Sell a print on DA (lulz)
9.)Go to Bohol
10.)Pose nude
11.)Organize a surprise party (also tried and failed. twice.)
12.)Contribute to Reader's Digest
13.)Make the Dean's list (ala lang)
14.)LARP
15.)Learn how to speak another language
16.)Visit another country
17.)See someone die
18.)Watch a birthing
19.)Perform onstage for theater
20.)Have an album launched for my band, Dama de Noche

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Otaku Fest


Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Playlist Memes

The rules are simple:
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn't make sense. NO CHEATING!

1. What are you feeling today?
>Rock n Roll High School - The Ramones

Wth?

2. Will you get far in life?
>Ang PagIbig Kong Ito - Moonstar88

Atay


3. How do your friends see you?
>You'll Be Safe Here - Rivermaya

Yes my friends, I will protect you from harm *snicker snicker*

4. Will you get married?
>India - Xandria

Forward we sail into the unknown
We have no fear we´re sacred
We´re going to where no one has gone before
Keep on til we have reached the sunset
There will be no withdrawal
We´re heading for the the treasures of India

I will get married if I go to India =))

5. What is your best friend's theme song?
>Under the Bridge - Red hot Chili Peppers


Its hard to believe
That theres nobody out there
Its hard to believe
That Im all alone
At least I have her love
The city she loves me
Lonely as I am
Together we cry

Cebu loves me? :3
bayuta gud

6. What is the story of your life?
>Sweet Dreams - Marilyn Manson

0.o sentimentality was one of my faults

7. What was high school like?
>One - Mary J. Blige

Tragic love story much.

8. How can you get ahead in life?
>I Want You - Across the Universe soundtrack

Propaganda will get me ahead in life!!!

9. What is the best thing about your friends?
>I Must Be Dreaming - Evanescene

Lol

10. What is today going to be like?
>Stand By Your Man - The Dresden Dolls

Whut nao?

bayuta. Bigaon akong playlist

11. What is in store for the weekend?
>Civil War - Guns and Roses

Oh dear. This sounds ominous

12. What song describes you?
>Payaso - Razorback

Payaso is "Clown" in Tagalog. Gosh.

13. To describe your grandparents?
>Pop my Cherry - Fiona Apple and Marily Manson

O.O

14. How is your life going?
>It's Not Over - Chris Daughtry

Well obviously *rolls eyes*

15. What song will they play at your funeral?
>Circle - Sarah McLachlan

:3

16. How does the world see you?
>Nightquest - Nightwish

Insomniacs R us... This makes me think of hunting for yogurt.

17. Will you have a happy life?
>Give It To Me - Madonna

Only if I ask for one I guess

18. What do your friends really think of you?
>Lacrymosa - Evanescence

I can't change who I am
not this time, I won't lie to keep you near me
and in this short life,
there's no time to waste on giving up
my love wasn't enough

ka-emo ninyo ba

19. Do people secretly lust after you?
>Listen to the rain - Evanescence

No way for me to know I guess

20. How can I make myself happy?
>Let's go get stoned - Ray Charles

WHUT?!?

21. What should you do with your life?
>Magic - Sino SiKat

Okaaaay...i shall become a powerful SORCERESS!!!

22. Will you ever have children?
>Slept So Long - OST Queen of the Damned

I will fall into a deep sleep and sleep through menopause. And I wanted kids too.

0.o


This didn't make any sense.

Monday, December 01, 2008

I crave, therefore I am

Late yesterday afternoon, I was online, wanting a bath (no water), when Nichole(diputangbakukang)'s stat message got to me. She was talking about the gloriousness that is yogurt. And I was wondering how Myats and my other classmates who'd gone to Manila were doing earlier, and if they'd gone to Yogurbud.

Pretty soon, I was drooling over the idea of frozen yogurt and hot cinnamon loaves... :E

When the water returned, I got bathed and met up with Paolo (nas0ren) and Nica at coffee dream for a food trip.

First stop was Vibe's, behind the Cebu Doc Hospital. I had their herb and spices chicken with beryani rice. The herb and spices chicken is great on its own (the spices go all the way to the bone... mhmm), but coupled with beryani rice and saffron sauce, it was HEAVENLY!!!!

Then we walked the length of the highway looking for yogurt and cinnamon bread. It was past 10, and the first thing we found was the bread. The yogurt was elusive.

We went to the gas station convenience stores and found not what we were looking for. We went across fuente circle to get to Mercury Drug. They had a ref with a promotional sticker of Nestle yogurt, but all it had inside was chamyto.

We walked on to Mango to check out the stores there. Still no yogurt. Hopped onto a cab and headed to the Mabolo korean convenience store to check if they had yogurt apart from Melona. On the way, Nica made us choose: Would you rather be/date a punk rocker with a lisp or an emo?

Lithpth are cute. :3

At the Korean convenience store, there was no yogurt, and no Melon Melona (!!!!)

We walked all the way uphill, and found Mango yogurt at 8 to 8, a convenience store/drinking place that allegedly sells the best fried kangkong in town. But Nica and I wouldnt settle for less. So we walked onwards, ending up in Sykes, and still finding nothing, dejectedly settled for 12-peso jelly pops. Eugh. We concluded that someone with a car had the same cravings we did, bought all the yogurt from Mercury drug store and all the Melona from the Korean convenience store T_T

Then Anton (overkill001) arrived on his mighty black steed *cough clit cough*. We went to Banilad. At the first convenience store, as I approached the refrigerators, I crossed my fingers while Nica chanted "yogurtyogurtyogurtyogurt". And IT WAS THERE!!!!

We all ended up in IT park, having a yogurt picnic on my cloak (effective blanket it made) while browsing igat girl bands. It wasn't excatly what I had in mind (Anton ate most of the cinnamon back at Sykes since I'd assumed we weren't going to get any yogurt at all), but the effort made the yogurt taste better.


Saturday, November 29, 2008

Of Guitar Gods, The Merits of Sobriety, and Fabulous Food Secrets

The Guitar Fest was lots of fun. I hadn't set out to go with a particular set of people in mind, and people sort of just came together. I had dressed up for an uncle's birthday party and dragged Sam along before meeting Pangs and leaving for the Guitar Fest. Mantha, you just missed half your life by going down at SSS instead of continuing to the Outpost with us.

We were early, thus giving us access to more choice spots. We sat on one of the low tables by the right side of the stage, giving us a perfect view of the stage without having to compete with bobbing heads. While we waited for friends to arrive, I took over the Caltex Guitar Hero Station. Mehehehehe, I may not be a competent guitarist, but I am a competent guitar hero. XD.

As people piled in, and friends started showing up (chaiscoffee, nas0ren, forsakenkid, zeid620, overkill001 ), the Gods made a touchdown.

Lawrence Ostrea of Pandora looked as if he was massaging the fret board, coaxing it to sing. Talk about pornic moanings. Soo sexy. (Even *I* can't believe I'm fangirling over a guitarist, I swear Sam, you shouldve been there!)

But the best part was when a dude who looked like a dead ringer for John Lennon went upstage with an acoustic.

Let's just say he rawked.



RAWKED HARD!!!

Even when it had started to rain, he still managed to keep the audience glued to him by playing a sweet instrum of Itchyworm's Beer. Everyone sang along.

Then Manny (mannyamador) went onstage. The God of Beautiful Men has a beautiful singing voice as well. And although the amps were wonky, he still managed to bring the house down. XD

Manny is the only person I know in the music industry, who doesn't drink. On the other hand, when Guitar God Noli was asked to come upstage again for an impromptu jam, he still had a cocktail in his hand and he seemed way to happy. True enough, his riffs for that jam weren't as amazing as they should've, had he been sober. Tsk.

After Manny's gig, Me, Anton (overkill001) and Pao (nas0ren) went to grab some Korean goodness, then, at 3AM, went off to BEAT to go karaoke. ^_________^ I believe I hogged the mic, sorry guys. It's just been so long since I sang... :3 :3 :3

Manny caught up and we all went to this carenderia behind Cebu Doc. It didn't look like much, but when the food came out, I was shot into food heaven. I need to go back there to sample more of their stuff before I can give you a full account of my trip to heaven. They do say you can't talk about the first time. *tears well in eyes* But all I can say is that the food was too divine, too glorious to be sampled in a mere carenderia. Believe you me, I haven't sampled anything like it in Cebu.

*is thinking about food*

Sunday, November 16, 2008

The more convenient the world becomes, the colder it gets

The intarwebs has made me realize something. I read through someone's blog and realized I haven't seen a whole bunch of people in a couple of months (as compared to the people who still keep trying to contact me even after years of non communication). There are people I actually have seen in a while, and yet it still feels as if I haven't actually talked to them in years. I realized visiting people in their homes isn't a very good idea. There's always the computer to contend with. If it weren't for Felix being in a coma, I wouldn't have realized how unhuman I've been in the months that I've had him.

~~~

This week alone, I've had 3 strange conversations. In one, I'd hoped to stop something that was increasingly upsetting. Instead I revealed more than I'd planned to. It didn't turn out as bad as it usually did whenever I got these impulses. But it reminded me of who I am.

Another revealed something I'm wondering if I should be bothered about or not. Logically, it shouldn't. Logically at least.

A third is somehow connected to the first and the second, although the first and the second aren't related to each other. In the third, I found a road I'd lost and am currently picking up where I'd left off. I found reaffirmation that the companions I have on this road are still with me. I'd found out why I'm where I am, and why I'm doing what I'm doing, and how it's all related to the scheme of things.

At least i got the mindfuck I was asking for in the previous entry. Brother, you can attest to this.

Another thing I asked for that I got was a book - the manual for Mage The Sorcerer's Crusade. It reads a lot like Nobilis, except on a different level. It's still Transcendance, but on a lesser level.

Sometimes technology has a way of making one lose sight. This is why I stopped watching tv. I guess imma have to tone down my time with Felix.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

With Christmas being just round the corner...*whistle whistle*

I have never considered myself a material person. I've never cared for brands, but that doesn't mean I don't care about quality. I end up saving for something I convince myself out of buying (the money goes to food most of the time, so no, that doesn't make me a mizer either). In the end, I end up not buying the things I meant to buy. So I makes a wishlist XD

1.) Puss needs new boots. Preferrably stilletto. With pointy toes too. Size 9. American size 7 (or was it 6?) (around P1.5k-P4k)
2.) A White Wig (P1.5k)
3.) A Jinx T-shirt. This. Or this.
4.) A mountain climber's pack
5.) A pair of earphones.
6.) A watch that can self destruct (because it's cool)

What I really want tho is:
1.) Undisturbed sleep on a big bed with comforter
2.) A mindfuck (i.e. conversation, weird experience to think about, etc etc)
3.) A good book to read. Something that isn't too intense, but something you can't put down
4.) Funds for my Movie Thesis
5.) A great crew and cast for it
6.) A live Felix T_T
7.) An outlet

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Proxy Entry

Is there anyone out there with a Vista installer?

I left Felix with my brother yesterday as I left for shooting. We wrapped up at 6AM today, and the first thing I did when I came home was turn my laptop on to blog about the experience. It gave me the safe mode prompt, and then informed me there was something wrong with the OS. WTF. By then, my brother has most probably already arrived at Naval. Too far away for me to avenge my baby.

Grrr. I'll be going to the HP service center once I've gotten a massage and slept. That's right after I clean my room of my brother's smell.

~~~

The Shoot's over (Yay!!). it was a very taxing experience, but I learned a lot. Apart from starting late, or having to take 5 hours to do one scene mainly because we had only one camera and a very meticulous crew, the people were fun to work with and watch.

- I went to the longest Wedding Party I've ever attended. And it was mine too. Harvey's gown was a beauty. I just wish I had the patience to turn the petticoat the right side out to keep me from feeling uncomfortable for most of the shoot. My groom was telenovela guy good-looking (think like a Ken Doll). The only guest I knew was Sam, who became my impromptu maid of honor. The music was okay, the decorations were interesting, and my mother in law was at least distant. I wanted to puke.

On my actual wedding day, I won't be wearing white. Maybe gold and red, but not white. The music will involve cellos and lutes instead of guitars. There will be glass trees and technicolor fruits and loads of vines so that the flowers dont feel so lonely and dont look so dead. The officiator shall be in a cloak and it shall be held in a fort or on top of a hill in a monastery somewhere instead of in those modern day cement abominations you people call churches.

I shall get tattoos instead of rings. Because tattoos need surgery to remove. The very idea of getting a tattoo on the tender part of the finger will be one of the few reasons the groom will have cold feet. Yes, marriage to me is do or die. I can't even live with myself. Which is why it's going to be so difficult. So Sam, it might not be possible for you to say you're doing the maid of honor thing for me a second time.



- I got kissed yesterday. I froze and thought of the things I'd lost, and how much I'd wanted to keep innocent about the things that people usually lose first along with their innocence.

I wouldve wanted my first kiss to have been special. An accident maybe. At least with someone I could've remotely liked. He promised he'd just kiss the corner of my lips. He ended up kissing the right side of my mouth.

I felt the flesh on my lips. And then I felt numb. And then cold. And then something inside my brain was tearing apart, screaming. And then I wanted to run away. I knew I was internally overreacting, so I just sat down and listened to Ayna try to calm me down. She was apologetic about having me do the scene, so was Jose. But it was over. I was embarassed for having delayed production with the fit, but it was over. And it was as if nothing had happened.

The tub scene was easier. I managed to get out of showing too much skin. Much cleavage tho, but not too much flesh. Cuddling I can take. I been hugged once or twice aredi and got the panic attack for getting hugged by a guy over and done with sometime in the past, so that it felt nothing. The dude was shivering though. Muehehehe.

Then we did the proposal scenes, and the car accident. The movie will be showing on December 22.

~~~

In other news, I can finally focus on enrollment. I have my subjects down pat, cept for an elective and PE. I'm trying to get into Arnis, and Ranada's convincing me to take up Broadcast Advertising. And I thought all my subjects would be about paperwork this sem, completely day and night with last sem where all my subjects were about some form of production.

Oh shiet. I suddenly remembered Felix is dead. So much for spending lovely afternoons in the quiet of my room while typing papers on my lovely laptop. T_T

/jpb

Saturday, November 08, 2008

In Jill's Shoes

This entry shall be embellished with pictures once I get them from the Boom Boy.

I was given a bad parody of powdered orange juice for my colds the other day. I was warned I'd get drowsy after drinking the stuff, so I had it at night. By 10, I was out like a lamp. Unfortunately, my body clock insists I sleep for only 6 hours. Woke up at 3AM, and just as I was about to fall asleep, my blond brother arrived, reeking of booze. He fell on the bed adjacent to mine and after a few seconds, started snoring soundly.

I "woke up" with a headache at 6AM, an hour before my alarm clock.

Apparently, the entire crew had been up late for another shoot and couldn't wake p when they were supposed to, throwing the entire shoot off schedule by an hour.

The hour extended to two because of technical difficulties.

In the 5 hours that they resolved these difficulties, I was able to catch up on the z's.

For the next 13 hours, I was a confused girl recovering from a bruised face but getting increasingly confused with what to do with her quadriplegic boyfriend. Specially since he turned out that way the night she tried breaking up with him.

Confusion and tension are things I don't have to act out. I act guilty even when I'm innocent, and I have big eyes. Which Ayna says are great for the camera.

AJ took a particular picture that would've been perfect for that last paragraph. But I don't have em yet.

Tomorrow's the wedding, my download is done, and I better get some beauty sleep.

Saturday, November 01, 2008

All Hallow's Eve

I lol'd really hard today. Sun Star featured the bruhaness (not to mention the fatness, thank you very much ribs) of the me for their Weekend pages.

Here's a couple of things I winced at (apart from teh fatness):

1.) Someone else was credited for hair and make up. I pity the poor make up artist whose reputation is nao prolly soiled because I only dabbed a few lines of liquid eyeliner and red lipstick on my face.

2.) Dama de Noche was confused for DAMAGED. Oh noes.

In other news, I went barhopping last night! Yes ladiez and gents, barhopping! Me, teh sea urchin, in a crowded room filled with people doing two things I am far from fond of: 1.)dancing, 2.)hooking up.

But the costumes were funny. There were a whole bunch of Jokers, a couple of devils with glowing horns, a bunch of angels with fuzzy halos, one devil-angel (red skin, horns, halo, wings), darth maul w matching red double-ended lightsaber, a jedi with a blue lightsaber (they didnt come together,lol), a topless dude with a big sowrd (i think he was sposed to be a barbarian) a whole bunch of dominatrices, and a doctor.

I'd dressed up, supposedly for a party scene shoot I was going to with Pangs. Unfortunately the shoot got cancelled. I didn't want to waste my outfit, so we decided to hang out somewhere and do the "nightlife" thing. We ended up in Coffee Bean, discussing my thesis. Lol. Fruh, who happened to be there, hung around with us a while before she was whisked away by the relatives she'd come with. Then Tonia came, who informed us he had no plans, but was on the VIP list of Loft. Problem was, he wasn't in costume.

Luckily for him, I am not just a frustrated actress. I am also BAYOT!!! We got mena from a botica, grabbed my liquid eyeliner, and turned him into The Crow (it was his idea anyway)

So The Crow and Little Red Ridinghood went to Vudu (where the costume party was), to Bo's, where we started camwhoring(we stole someone's digicam, muwehehehe), to Loft, and then back to Vudu. On an impulse, we went all the way to InHouse, planning to crash whatever party could have been happening over yonder, except it was aredi 4AM, and it was closed. Lol.

Pichurs shall follow.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Remembering the Dead

I'm feeling guilty. I'd completely forgotten about Josh's first death anniversary.

Here's a repost from last year:

Goodbye Josh


I’ll be doing my biggest fan a belated favor by posting his name here: Joshua D. Bueno (Feb7,1989-Oct18,2007). He copypasted a page of my blog onto his once in high school.

He was battling with Leukemia while I was having imaginary nose bleeding from all my finals work. The bodily fluid I shed the day I received the news included no tears until a moth landed on my chest. May pagkamanyak talaga tong si Bueno.

I simply wasn’t in the mood to mourn. I thought I had already mourned his loss 3 years ago when we had graduated from high school. I developed the habit of crying over people during separations and forgetting all about them afterward. He was one of the last to wish me well then. He said I’d get far. But then again, I did say he was my biggest fan. He always went out of his way to give me encouragement and praise. I never really took him seriously. I always regarded him as a delusional bumpkin (whom I suspected was too shy to go out of the closet) just because he thought I was worth anything. As far as I was concerned, it was the last time I’d see the boy. I was right.

As soon as I started college, I tried forgetting everything. I changed my number, my friendster account, my name. I tried fitting into a new life without the supposed dead. I couldn’t prevent meeting old classmates, and hearing about how others were doing. I heard Bueno was a constant Dean’s Lister, besides being active in the student council of St Paul’s Business School in Tacloban. I also heard he had developed a fashion sense and had found himself a beauty queen of a girlfriend (there goes my closet queen theory).

On October 16, I received a message from my mother that Bueno was in the hospital. They were apparently discussing me. My mom told me about the pride in his voice when he talked about what he had been hearing about me. It was as if he was seeing me on the road of success as he predicted. He didn’t know how off course I was. My mom suggested I call him. But I was running low on load, and I had a hundred other excuses.

It wasn’t real to me until I actually saw his corpse and talked to his mom. Our eyes brimmed with tears as she recounted how optimistic he was despite the odds. He’d accept any amount his parents would give him. He had no vices, and even to the very end, he told his mother to keep on fighting, because like chess, even if you lose a piece, you can still win.

I realized he never became a different person. He would always be my bumpkin friend, and the least I could have done was to call him up while he was still alive. We never really know what we have until it is lost. And I never knew how much I really cared until it dawned upon me that I’d never hear his cheesy lines anymore, and know that he meant every word.

Goodbye Joshua. Though I never told you, you could’ve been larger than life.

~~~

A year later, I realized nothing much changes. We set ourselves up for heartbreak. We still cherish the dying and ignore the healthy. We still mourn the dead and forget the living. We are only reminded about how fragile moments are when we are faced with our own mortality.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Relishing the sem break

For two days, I was dead to the world. I slept and slept and slept, and woke up in the evenings to lurk the intarwebs. And slept.

On the 3rd day, I went out with a bunch of office mates. Woah. "Went out with office mates" sounds weird. This coming from the girl who doesn't even go out with classmates. Aww, don't feel so bad *insert classmate's name currently reading post*, we'll go to a bar one of these nights and pretend neither of us feel weird about it.

It was a foreshadowing, that I would be working in the next couple of days.

But the only thing I'd done lately was a feature story on a Lapida maker. I interviewed the dude this morning, and fell asleep as soon as I went home. I had apparently forgotten that the story was due ASAP. And I want a lapida. A marble one will do just fine :3

I had a strange dream about old friends, where one of them turned into a clown working for a fair and the other wanting to keep me in her bag.

I woke up to work on my story, when Pangs and Fruhlein arrived. We all went to Ayna's place, where we met with future lady-killer, Jack (see what I mean about the Santiago idea?), before going to Big Foot with pizza.

I thinks my groom is afraid of me. :3 I likes him aredi :3 And liek Pangs said, I'm marrying the terminator. :3

On the way home, I was on a jeep, relating my motivations for my role with Pangs (method acting) in the first person. So I was basically telling him about sleeping with someone to compensate for the lack of passion in my real relationship and ending up falling for my fubu. There were 6 guys in the jeep, and all of them were eavesdropping. Sex sells.

Apart from which, I'll be going to Dumaguete this Friday, come back for a debut (Fruhlein's), shoot a party scene on All Hallow's Eve, and possibly actually party, and go over my screenplay with my AD.

And enrollment. No going home for me apparently.

Monday, October 20, 2008

An Ode to the Half Moon

I cant access DA.

~~~

It is an old game you play with me
That solemn wink in the black sea
That makes me feel like a voyeur, guilty
But indignant that I should be

Because there is nothing I can do
About you showing me what you do

And I will wonder where the rest of you went
With all my precious time on you spent

But you lure me on, out my window
To wait and wonder, til the break of the 'morrow

And lose more of myself
As I always do
And put pride to the shelf
Just to battle with you

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Pity

Lamentations! Lamentations!
Done in this wicked hour
When the bridegroom pricked his member
Within a poisoned flower

And the bride, she knelt
Amongst the roses
And crushed the poisoned flower
And her sweet sweet Moses
His face turned swiftly dour

Rest quick, rest at ease
Quickly now, be at peace

And we shall mourn for the lost
And we shall mourn for the prick

~~~

It's a whole 15 days from Halloween, and a day after Moon Doll's birthday. This was written during a break from watching Elvira videos. Advanced Happy Hallow's all you happy campers. :)

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Pissed

I was with Veron at Turtle's, doing 8 months worth of catching up, when a boy came into the gate with an outstretched hand. I brushed the boy off, told him to go away, and continued talking to Ate Veron. Eventually the kid started shouting and wailing, going "Ah di mo manghatag ha?", virtually just being annoying. We were paying him no heed when he approached us and started poking at Veron's hair. I stared at him, and he started poking me. I put my foot in front of us, yet he continued with the poking. I put a hand in front of my face and cursed him, apparently the intimidate roll failed, because he continued on. I stood up, at which point the boy ran. I ran after him, to make sure he knew I meant business and to make sure he wasn't coming back. A couple of citom officers standing by asked me what was up when I came back. I guess it wasn't their jurisdiction, but it would still help. The owner of the little mountaineering nook beside Turtle's came out and asked us what the kid did. Apparently, he frequented the place, harassing the patrons to get money. Lechugas.

I choose the people who harass me, which I why I met up with Veron. She hasn't changed one bit. And I was in such a mood that I was willing to break the boy's fingers for touching me. Not that I could have accomplished such, but the will can do amazing things.

Do any of you know where I can get an airgun?

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

I'll take a month

Last night, the silence was broken by a piercing scream. Happens all the time in books. Or movies. Seldom irl.

But the woman screamed as if she'd just met Frankenstein. Now Franky, as we all know, lives inside her head. Because the real Frankenstein wouldn't go through that much trouble just to scare little old her. Where is he from anyway? Europe? Unless of course she was his mail order bride. But then again, do the undead browse filipinaheart.com? Yuck, zombie love. Point is, Frankenstein lives in her head. I have monsters in my head too, why do I have to save her from hers? Besides, it's halloween, monsters are supposed to be EVERYWHERE. On your yards, Under your beds, inside your closet, in your pants, in your dreams. Monsters everywhere. They get there whether you like it or not.

The monster in my head isn't as large as a worm yet. But it's burrowing itself amongst my brain cells, making room for a home, with a lanai up front, and perhaps even a swimming pool. It'll live there and feed off me, and grow til it's larger than my brain, and I'll burst open, with a child born of my head, the way Zeus had Athena. But I'm no God of Thunder, so I'd prolly die. Which is a good thing sometimes. The dead do own the earth after all, and all I own atm is my past. And dredged up memories aren't cool to have.

Sieze the day, someone is bound to say. But what if it siezes you? Makes you into some sort of human console and press your buttons til it wins? if you're getting images of Chobits, I guess you get the picture.

Monday, October 06, 2008

Otaku Fest 2.0

FYI, we're coming up with another Otaku Fest, with more delights to watch out for, specifically:

TEH BISHIE PAGEANT!!! (Yes, it's a pageant for boys who look like bishies. And I shall be part of the screening committee. Because I said so >:P)

Workshops (I still have to contact potential resource people, so topics are pending)

More hobbies

More merchandise

More featured guests (Alodia perhaps? mehehehe)

More games

More lulz

And most of all, moar kittehs!!!

The possibility of picking up where the Mandaue Lan party left off is also in the works, and we're still open to ideas. Finalization is set for 2nd week of October, and the event itself is set on December 13 (unless something comes up). Still accepting suggestions and willing victims to be part of organizing committee, coz like they say, if you want something done, you have to do it yourself.

Saturday, October 04, 2008

Carnival of horrors

So the elders decided we were competition for the karaoke mic and had us go to the carnival.

This wasn't a very good idea for me to begin with since there were only two of us college girls and a handful of elementary kids since the kids my age were all at a rave party my brother organized. I regret not going.

My co-babysitter, Ate Mae, was starting to get stomach pains. She suspected food poisoning. I lold at my bad luck. Then Ate Jean came from the rave party, and invited me along, baiting me with news that an old fling had gone to the gym and had become "delicious". The kids were getting impatient. The kids won over newly buffed dude (I was overpowered).

Entrance was at P5. The place was packed with people, gambling booths, and three rides:

1.)a ferris wheel that looked like it would collapse with the right wind

2.)a network of eetsy bitsy airplanes. Out of order.

3.)a "horror" train.

So Ate Ara decided everyone would get on the train. Little Raiza didn't want to get onto anything that had "horror" on it. I told her she was scarier than all the horrors in the world, but she stayed behind with Kisses. So I paid 6xP15 for the whole lot who were getting on the train. That was the least sulit P90 I'd ever spent in my entire life. I would have made a much better job. All that was inside the tunnel was a kid in a frankenstein mask. And he stayed in the same area. At one round, he hid behind the curtains, I suspect, not to be mysterious, but because some of the kids in front were hitting him. Lulz. Kid prolly didn't want to respawn no moarz.

So after the trip, some of the kids had managed to escape me, and had started betting on the gambling booths. I was able to round them up and leave before they could do anymore gambling.

I suspect the most excitement we would have gotten is if someone tried stealing my purse and the eventual running after the turd.

So we went home. I guess I AM going to that rave party after all. And if that sucks as well, I'm going home to make my own horror tunnel.


The Lady on the Mountain: A Repost

He was an artisan, made famous by his sculpting in particular. He was said to be a prophet of the aesthetic, for there was no rock or stone or wood he could not turn into a thing of beauty. What was even more curious about his work was that it seemed as if his hands sculpted life into his media.

He worshipped beauty, and it was his quest to sculpt what to him was divine. Men from far and wide came to commission him to sculpt their Gods and Goddesses and he obliged. Even the leaders of the land came to him with expensive gifts so that he’d sculpt them. His perception of beauty earned him many powerful enemies. He earned a price over his head for rejecting many commissions.

Eventually, the artisan took his tools and climbed a mountain to live the rest of his days alone with his art. He was set out to create the embodiment of beauty, and in his loneliness, he fashioned it to be a woman. When there was nothing more to perfect, he kissed the lips of the statue, happy that his life’s work was done. Then he walked away and was never heard of again.

To this day, Galatea waits on the mountain, covered in ivy and wildflowers.
-October 22, 2007

Monday, September 22, 2008

My stint as a Drag Queen

Why? Because I wanted to. I mean how many times in your life would I be asked to play dress up and play make believe and get paid (Well, only if you're good enough) for it?
I was supposed to do Amy Lee since it was a singing contest. I was told that the stress in the criteria was on performance, so the livelier, the better. Evanescence isn't exactly lively.

The choices were Madonna, Cher, Shakira, and Beyonce, all of which I could mimic. The problem with Shakira and Beyonce were that they were dancers, and it was either I do "Baby Boy" and do a doble kara with my right side dressed in baggy clothes (Sean Paul), or I do Whenever Wherever, which was kinda cheap.

So it was a toss up between Cher and Madonna. Cher would win for the lulz, but Madonna was The Pop Icon. I had my mom decide, and she found me a video of a Madonna concert on youtube.

The choreographer wanted me to do Kylie Minogue. There was a reason why she wasn't a choice, and I stuck to that.

The only consistent critique for me during practice was that I wasn't "igat" enough. Atay.

Oh well.

The people went wild as soon as I entered the room. Peopl were whispering "Madonna?"

My mind flew out the wig. Shiet. People were rioting when I lay on the ramp. Photographers were taking too many crotch shots, most of which I tried avoiding. Ack.

And the verdict? The judges preferred the Beyonce singing over my Madonnaness.

She won 10k.

But I won

A 25'' flat screen tv with matching DvD playah through the raffle!!!! I didn't even know someone put a ticket with my name on it. The dude who picked the ticket was having a hard time reading my name. He said the ticket was from CDN, and called up Ms Eileen, who was sitting beside me, to read the name. I was joking that it was me, since that was the usual predicament people ran into when they first encountered my name. Problems with pronunciation. And then she held the paper up in fron of her where I could read it in reverse. And you all know how Ara is still Ara in reverse. Lulz

If mommy hadn't come to be the stage mom, I would've kept mum about the win and sold the tv and dvd player at istorya.net discreetly. Unfortunately she was there, and my couch potato brother has just asked me to scout for PS2 paraphernalia. Grrr...

My gayness was featured on the front page of today's CDN issue. I'm just glad people don't recognize me ^__^

Monday, September 15, 2008

Stimulation begins nao.

When the rest of the world is asleep and there is no one else up but you and me. Me being the PC and you being the reader. Stimulation begins nao.

And because I trust in the power of the almighty madaling araw, here's a question:

If you had a million peas (because dough stands for dollars) and wanted to invest in something that needed at least 3 million in 5 years' time, what would you do to make your million grow?

Friday, September 12, 2008

Migraine

Been swamped with schoolwork. Been too busy to blog, cept I couldn't resist not sharing the ff:

1.) After a LONG long day yesterday, I realized I left the keys inside my room. Nobody was awake, and it woulda been rude to wake people up just because I locked myself out of a room. Problem was, my clothes were inside and I was supposed to wear something snappy for a presentation the next day; Felix needed charging; I was supposed to edit an ad for said presentation; and I hadn't had any sleep the previous night editing a different ad for the same thing.

I took it out on the door, thinking "Here's how I find out how high my Str is...". I twisted and turned the knob, hoping it'd come loose in my hand. I gave up eventually, and sighed aloud "Will you not yield to my Cha at least and pity me?" and pushed the door. It swung open. Cool. No wonder I couldn't imagine spending the night away from the comfort of my newly changed sheets (read: fresh from the laundry). It wasn't going to happen ^__^

2.) We did a photoshoot for an adoption and foster care campaign for DSWD. We were worried the kids wouldn't be cute enough on their own, so we asked the DSWD person to have them wear white pampers beforehand.

Boy what a misconception. The kids were adorable as hell.

One pale girl with huge eyes and brown hair had a small smile when we knocked on the door, but as soon as she saw the whole lot of us, her smile disappeared. She stared at us determinedly for the next hour we were there. I thought they didn't make kids like those. She must've been 1 or 2 years old.

One boy took my headband from me and fitted it on himself like a crown. For the first few minutes, he paraded round the playroom with his arms curved in front of him. Lulz, heads up emperorsandata, someone's out to get your throne. Even the empress agrees ^___^

There was a whole slew of tots that made an impression. There was one we called "Butchik Baby" because she had the small ruby lips and the curls, one bald little thing that just sat in a corner and looked up at you in what I imagined to be an amused look. If he could say something, it might have been a "Sup?". There was the beautiful baby girl who made a very pretty picture and looked a lot like Ate Miki's baby (she was left at Sto Nino daw). There was the basagulero who always had something hard to hit you with, and there was Ara Jr.

I was busy hanging out with "Sup" baby when Karen came over and sat down, telling me the baby she was holding wouldn't be let down. The kid turned to me with outstretched arms. I obliged. Pretty soon we were sticking our tongues out at the mirror. Fast learning kid, good mimic too. At first, I thought the baby was a boy, with thick yet closely cropped hair, and very long eyelashes. Baby had a middle eastern look to it. For sometime, I just stood there, with the baby resting it's head over my shoulder. I asked someone what his name was. I was told it was "Lara". I was thinking "What an unfortunate name for a little boy..."

I thought she'd fallen asleep, til Frohlein took a picture and showed me what she was doing. The little thing was staring up at Froh's lens with a finger in her mouth and huge puppy dog eyes. What a camwhore. Manipulative too. She pointed to the window several times to me, as if asking me "Take me home", and then she'd kill me with her big thick lashed eyes. I looked at her and wondered whether it was wise for college students with barely enough money and time to adopt. Unfortunately that's the very reason why teenage pregnancies isn't a good idea in the first place.

I spent the rest of our stay with Lara, and none of us wanted to leave. But we had a presentation to make at 9, and I hadn't even gotten into my business casual yet. So after diverting her attention from myself to a toy (believe me, the deception hurt like hell), I kissed her one last time and said bye bye. She stopped smiling and looked at me, then she held onto my leg.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"She wants me" has taken a totally different level.

I'm going back one of these days.

And oh yeah, on Guitar Hero? I was able to play with Pangs and Frohlein. I prefer the console for some reason... so that's not what I'm gonna be doing the next time I get free time... I'll be window shopping at DSWD. Lulz.

I enrolled for voice lessons today too.

And I'm having the worst migraine I've had in my entire life. It started this afternoon at around 5.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

The current state of affairs

The school paper office is crap. The walls are cracked and cobwebbed, the floors are soiled with dried flood water, the PCs (donations mind you) are busted and virus infected, and the room is cluttered with old issues because we don't have the means to properly organize our archives.

*Sob*

Bitter part is that the PCs get trashed whenever we're close to publishing date, and the keys used to stay with the guard; the SAO taunts Tug Ani writers about the office not getting any benefits because it keeps featuring him.

AND TEH DELF MIYU IS NAO $460!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! When I don't want her that badly anymore... Hahay.

Ara can live without doll.

But Tug Ani will always need puters. And walls. And floors. And writers. And artists.

Tug Ani needs you








(in many ways... more on some parts, but that's besides the point...)

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

French Fries, Dead Guys, and a Showfly

I feel like a hot potato.

Solibanko (Always wanted to use that word, I just dunno how it's spelt) , I went to a dead dude's birthday and got flooded by stories and anecdotes of how much of a square he was. His friends were trying to pry personal information about myself. One of them poignantly pointed out: "You don't watch tv, you don't like softdrinks, you have no religion, are you human?"

I am. But I'm not square. Wish I was though. Squares look like happy people.

The humdrum newsroom was invaded by fairies today with a girl dressed in a dewy cobwebs today (I think that was the desired effect of the gown, else it was tacky). I was wondering about who she looked like when Kuya Justin pointed out that she looked like me. Nyek. I know what I look like when I'm in showfly mode. My face is just a bunch of lines and a big mouth. She was purdeh. ^__^

Mah bebeh fell with a resounding 'thud' teh other day. Now he has a wound. I cringe everytime I feel the tear. More reason to have him seen by the HP fefol. I feel like a bad momma.

Mortality

There's nothing like a walk in a cemetery to remind you of your own mortality. I'd been sent to the cemetery for a story and ended up walking around. I was wondering why there were so many flowers that day and remembered it was Monday, cemetery day for most. I don't understand why it's on a Monday. Faith suggested maybe it's because it's Moon's Day. Hay whatever.

Monuments are only important if they stand for something. Little mounds on the ground and mausoleums included. It doesn't matter if your bag of bones is sitting under that plaque, it's what you represent and how that representation matters to the living that counts.

Which brings me back to the thought: What do I stand for? With all my issues against contradictions and being a contradiction myself, have I preempted my fate by truly becoming Doubt incarnate? I took the time to sift through the remainder of my beliefs and realized I can count them all in one hand.

One of which is that nothing is as it seems.

Maybe we all have to remember we're all dying sometimes (or that nothing is permanent). It makes us rethink our priorities. Hi garlfriend, this goes for you too.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Lulz

I'll be doing this come Press Freedom Week:



Wahahaha, I was supposed to do Cher, but that would be suicide. I'll be tagged as CDN's drag queen forevar. And it's not helping that Ms Connie suggested I quit school and stay in CDN. Like Kuya Dale? Nope. I'm still having fun in school. I told her I applied for the Tug-ani EIC position to estalish that I still had reason to go to school. She nodded and said "Pang lapida", then tried to make me listen to Abba's Mama Mia. Mabuang ko.

In other news, I have a new phone and number. It's still vintage (3210) but it feels nicer. I also figured snazzy cellphones won't last long either, and if I should spend on something, it should be as conveniently optimizable as a Blueberry. Like a PSP for instance :). Ah, Kuya Justin, you have converted me to the PSP religion. I wonder how much the impersonation competition prize is... wehehehe

I fell off a bike the other day. One leg ended up bruised, while the other one got twisted in some areas. It's barely -2 to HP, but I realize how much weight I'd gained. I can cover the width of my arm with my entire hand. Faith and I've realized we'd been sitting on our bums in front of our respective persocoms too long. We decided we'd put the fire exit to good use and try our luck there. It'll be good to see how fast we can go if we do use the fire exits in case of a zombie attack. But we didn't wake up early enuf the next morn, and we both had places to go.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

So much for "Where the wind takes me"

Leaving has become trendy atm. My good friend Heno has left for the tumultous lands of Mindanao to seek his fortune because he was tired. Then my high school best friend, Malynne's leaving for Europe, because she says she can't find a future here.

She told me about her plan, which was part wreckless, part promising, and I wonder why I hadn't thought about it. I had always wanted to go there of all places, yet I was too lazy to actually exert any effort in actually leaving.

She asked me if I wanted to come. I sincerely want to. But whenever I ask myself why I can't, I always come up with some excuse or another. I have too many responsibilities I can't just run away from. I've built walls and a roof for myself with large windows to watch my dreams float out off.

I'm not saying that I'm unhappy with the things I'm currently occupied with, I'm just saying that it isn't easy to abandon myself to "Whatever" anymore.

~~~

He's a walking short story. The type that gets published in filipino news magazines in the "fiction" section. And I'm worried about him. Half because he's my friend. Half because the situation is bleak no matter what angle you look at it from.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Toilet Humor

The door of the CR somehow got jammed while I was still inside. Faith, Karl and Pangs took turns laughing at my predicament. And oh yeah, they were trying to help too. They gave me bread knives to pry the lock free. I was having difficulty doing that and we were all joking through the door about how I was never going to get out.Karl said they'd sympathize, and tell me what they were eating at every meal, so that I wouldnt feel lonely. I told them I was prying the vent open to let the food in. I went through that and had Karl get in to open the door.

Yesterday was the UNISO meeting. Many facepalm moments. It played out like a sitcom episode. The room was obviously divided. Everyone wanted the same end, they just disagreed on how to get to it. Apart from that, communication was an issue. How can anyone hope for a proper exchange when nobody's prepared to listen?

It woulda been simple. But people were tripping themselves by complicating the process and contradicting themselves. Lol. People were showing their ineptitude. The Captain Obvious family was there. At least we got to a conclusion. While the constitution is being drafted, there shall be no UNISO. In other words, UNISO has a big "Out of Order" sign over it atm.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Because the world is round

http://zeid620.multiply.com/video/item/23/Dama_de_Noche?replies_read=13

My daughter, Gabi, has uploaded the Lakas Tama performance. I realized a few things:
1.) It's okay for me not to smile during performance
2.) I need a choreographer
3.) I need exercise (gahd, look at those arms)
4.) I should've worn that white long sleeved polo like I originally intended to

Cook Out is over, and nao I'm off to mull over other things. A conversation involving sex drugs and violence last night gave birth to an idea for a play. In order to focus on this idea, I'm letting go of my original thesis proposal and giving this a shot, mainly because I wouldn't have to go through too much trouble just to get it funded.

It's a filipino culture themed fantasy, cept it involves sex drugs and violence. No real drugs though, but the way certain people act, you'd think they were on drugs. There will be a little incest, a war, a few babies, and much much blood.

I'm announcing this on behalf of the ACT UP core group, that I've been demoted from Asst Chairperson to Floor Director, which means I'm heading this project (since it IS my thesis after all), and that we shall be having an emergency meeting tomorrow at lunch at the canteen, which will be followed by a fleshing out of the script for those who're interested in joining the scriptwriting and researching committee. Once the script's fleshed out (the backbone's pretty sturdy already), we'll be holding auditions and workshops.

Thursday, August 07, 2008

COOK OUT'08

COOK OUT NA COOK OUT NA COOK OUT NA (In the spirit of my good friend and sometimes palalabs Emyats) COOK OUT NA COOK OUT NA COOK OUT NA *Continuous squeals od excitement

But what is there to be excited for? I'm committing suicide here. I'll be manning the sounds booth, then Ill be galloping in an Yves creation at the rampahan, And on top of that, Dama de Noche will be playing at 11:45. Cook Out's til dawn, and Ill be leaving for Dgte in the morning.

Eyebaggage galore.

And there's the fact that the Cook Out tickets have increased for the sake of accomodating a band that played this:

Agent orange - slapshock

I'm obviously not a fan, and they add +2 to the chances of drunken brawling, whether or not alcohol is allowed inside the campus premises or not. But Dickies was willing to pay for them. Sad that nobody was willing to pay for Up Dharma Down.

But then again, they're playing at the wee hours of the morning, enuf time for UP talents to show off. We're keeping to traditions and looking back to the past, while looking towards the future and its issues at the same time.

Speaking of issues, my inbox looks like my spam folder because of the number of people who throw messages back and forth. This is an example of the type of discussion that occurs in the yahoogroup:

Photobucket

Lol. People are actually contradicting themselves nao. I thought Christianity was about Brotherly love? Ha ha ha. I wanna turn historical here and laugh about how the Christian has turned upon himself to persecute his own kind.

I'd like to call on my classmates and fellow prod people to ignore this type of discussion, because it's not our fault or problem if people dont come and watch. After all, it wasn't our decision to make Cook Out so unnatractive to the masses in the midst of crisis.

Hahay. Good luck gud natong tanan. I've always managed to enjoy some part of the Cook Out, I hope this doesnt become an exception.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

A commentary on the current political situation: Rave Parties (This aint about the Pines imo)

It's grown sickening

It's not as if you people are fighting about principles anymore, it's not as if you people are fighting for what's right anymore. You're both trying to see who can top the other.

It's gone past the funny point. But Im too lazy to actually do anything radical about it. So I'll use the easy way out. I'll write about it. I'll write about rolling eyes amidst corrections just because the correction was made by a person of the same party to a person of the same party. I'll write about out of the blue decisions and walk-outs by sore losers. I'll write about unclear statements and worse rebuttals. I'll write about point by point fallacies against fallacies. I'll write about misplaced aggression. All for the lulz.

But like I said, I'm lazy. And I try to make it a point to NOT listen to BS. Specially when the BS Spouter has been at it for almost a decade ever since I've know the person.

You're no Socio-political party. You're a rave party. This is open to interpretation, so let your guilt trip you.

Srsly, I really wouldnt care about your mess, if only the people involved in this rubbish would actually do something beneficial to the entire studentry and not just a selected few. And I have problems with people not living up to their self-acclaimations.

Go read Gandhi.

Friday, August 01, 2008

Velveteen: A repost from somewhere

There is a seduction in myths
That draws the mortal man in
To partake of forbidden fruit
To explore the familiar mystery
It is this seduction
That leads you to this grave
That leads you to take this shovel
And dig deep
Deeper
Harder
Until you’ve struck wood
Or is it glass?
AS the strange guards said it would be
Queer folk, half your height
Who left you with crude tools
It is the seduction
That pushes you on
To bury your hands in the dirt
To reveal the glass coffin
Gilded with metal filigree
Inlaid with rich red velvet
Almost as red as her blush
The mock life in her flesh
The red that is her lips
That pushes you on
To find out
If she feels like a real girl


Did you expect she’d wake up?
You did not
But she did
The darker side of dreams come true
You strike at her with your shovel
And her blood is as dark as her hair

The Thousand: A repost from somewhere

There were rumors that the Great Heroes of the Land had taken the forgotten ruins of the Castle of St. Borgia for their brotherhood. They were called The Thousand. It was considered a man's greatest achievement to be one of them. But the route to the castle itself was obscure and perilous, and people had stopped believing there was even a Castle in the first place.

The beginning of the route was a 60-foot tall wall made out of human eyes at the western edge of the Kvasir Woods. If one casts his eyes upon the wall, one may be blinded forever. If one gets past this with his eyeballs intact, there's still the matter of not losing one's memory. Those who've gone past this trial know to think one thought they can afford to forget forever. Others would wander stupidly into the opening in the earth past the wall and get swallowed by the creatures that dwell in it. One has to have his wits about him to get through the dungeons.

The dungeons end at a wall bathed in pitch black darkness. A voice will ask you one question. Only those who can answer correctly are told to take a few paces back, lest the wall should fall upon the unlucky adventurer.

The opening leads to a room decked in finery made for royalty. There are two doors, from one of which will enter a creature that will appear to the viewer as the object of his Worldly Desires. This creature will try to prevent anyone from entering the door it had come from. This door leads to a very confusing manor. Anyone who enters it is guaranteed to go mad (if one isn't already). The door the creature hadn't been guarding one against is of course the way out.

Outside is a tranquil and pleasant-looking meadow, if one does not look closely. The ruins are on the top of a hill, and it will be easy enough to reach.

The gates are guarded by a fog of specters, all of which one has to battle. In the maelstrom is a young girl with raven hair and the blackest eyes you've ever seen. She will tell you of her story, of how several men had come during the destruction of her mother's castle, how they molested her, and how she sought revenge. Unfortunately, her blood lust was never sated. And with this, she offers you a smile full of broken teeth. It'll be the last thing you'll ever see.

~~~

Inspired by DnD, Nobilis and WoW. I miss Marie.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Which superhero are you?

Your results:
You are Catwoman
Catwoman
90%
Wonder Woman
80%
Hulk
80%
Spider-Man
75%
The Flash
75%
Green Lantern
75%
Robin
60%
Batman
55%
Supergirl
55%
Iron Man
50%
Superman
30%
You have had a tough childhood,
you know how to be a thief and exploit others
but you stand up for society's cast-offs.
Click here to take the "Which Superhero are you?" quiz...
Why is she listed under superheroes? Funny test. Iunno why.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

This is the stuff fiction is made of

Zy and I had a very animated discussion on the possibilities of Phoenix's character. Phoenix, son of Adam through Eve, among his other brothers, kept notes of their story. The brothers were of the first blood, who could maximize the capacity of their brains, and have marked contributions throughout the history of human existence.

Phoenix learned to detach himself from his brothers, as even some of them got involved in the comings and goings of humanity.

Zy suggested one of his brothers was Elvis.

I was thinking one of his brothers was Jesus, who resurfaced as John Lennon. :D


~~~

We somehow drifted to a discussion regarding Animals and the 2000 years of the world's history that disappeared from records. The Animals' Union revolted against the oppresive Humans of Oz who kept them working at minimum wage (think Flintstones). This crippled Human Culture and brought Man to his knees. It had to take several centuries before Man could recover from the loss of its workforce. Meanwhile, the original Animals stopped educating their young in order to keep them from enslavement (satire to the call center industry). George Orwell's Animal Farm talks of the possibilities that Animals abandoned. George Orwell mustve been an Animal himself! He coulda been a turtle... why? Because turtles do that sort of thing... they lie there, harmlessly, and you know how the deadliest enemies are the silent ones... that, and they live long.


~~~

The title of this entry is because of something that happened to Zy as she was walking home from school. She'd seen a trail of ripped off notebook pages on the sidewalk. Out of curiosity, she picked them up. Here are excerpts from the pages:

"...the ideas that appear here that came from my own mind are ideas that I do not want to claim original. I may be the first one to conceive them, but I am not the origin of them..."

"melody is an offspring of the fundamental line"

"...a sculpture is perfect because you have nothing more to chip off from it..."

Strange. very strange. The writing is legible, and every now and then, the person talks of God and Christ. It's possible that these are notes from a Theologist's notebook. possibly a Seminarian. The penmanship is archaic. And I'm not educated in the art of deciphering penmanship enough to tell if it was written by a dude or a dudette.

But it gave me an idea of a self-made man. What if you picked up little torn out pages from what appears to be an autobiography, and it turns out what you were reading was your own but didn't realize it until the day you die?

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Urduja... and other crap.

This is not a review, it's a rant.

I watched Urduja, and I did not enjoy it. Animation was choppy and transitions were extremely weird. It was a riff raff of rip offs (Pocahontas, Samurai Jack, Tarzan, Mulan, Pirate of the Carribean), and instead of ripping off interesting parts, they ripped off icons, things that made the movies distinct. The voice acting was crappiola (cept for the children's voices, yay for that at least), and they didn't even sync right.

The lore wasn't even accurate, and to make things worse, the heroes were a chinese pirate and a japanese samurai (Samurai Jack, I do not lie). So much for national pride. A lot of things were smooshed in for no reason, left hanging, or totally unexplained.

The inconsistency of both the art and the plot progression was extremely irritating. I fell asleep sometime in the middle of the movie and woke up because the girl beside me was laughing at something really hard. People in the cinema were screaming and commenting in the loudest voices possible. The jokes weren't funny, but people were laughing their heads off, as if to show everyone that they got the jokes because they were FILIPINO!!! pornic moaning in a children's cartoon... tsk tsk

I understand filipino humor. I grew up with a whole slew of yayas from every nook and cranny in the Philippines. In fact, my overexposure has taught me how to tell if it's a bad filipino joke or not.

But laughing at a joke just because you're trying to support the cause is pretentious and desperate in a scenester kind of way.

People should stop being "considerate" about what we have and what we do not have. Compared to the rest of the world, the Philippines is behind because we keep on makign excuses for ourselves. So much for "Poverty is not a hindrance". We're poor exactly because we keep on thinking we're poor. We keep thinking we're too poor to do anything. What about improvisation? What about initiative?

Epal. Epal talaga.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Dop(p)e...

Where's a Blue Fairy when you need one?

Where do you hide when you don't need the sun?

How do you say all that matters is fun

When you obviously need to be someone?

When you obviously want to be someone

When you've always tried to be someone

When you keep on insisting to be someone

Because you say you're different

As is everyone

And I kid not when I laugh

Because you're funny

And so am I

Because it's the same boat we're on

Where we both need to be someone

When we both try to be someone

And I'm sick and tired of seeing someone

Who's as sickening and pathetic as me

Friday, July 11, 2008

Sige daw, mga pinoy ba gud kaha mo...

So much for being down for the dumps. After a grape shake and a slice of pizza, I'm feeling a leeetle bit optimistic.

In this day and age where we've become attached to the convenience of technology, here's a scenario to chew on: Let's say that at the time and place that you've read this post, the world has just "ended" via meteor shower. Major Cities all around the Globe have been hit by meteors and a strange gloom has decended upon the world. Radiation from these meteors has wiped out most of our flora and fauna. All media is wiped out. No more cellphone signals, TV signals, Radio frequencies, NO INTERNET. Electricity lines are down everywhere, for some reason, anything that runs on electricity won't run anymore. Half of the Philippines is covered in water (I live in a building remembar? Wehehehe), and depending on where you live, your place could either be flooded, or you're swimming with the fishies (the ones that didn't get wiped out by the radiation).

What are you going to do?

(I'm tempted to say Lapu Lapu and Chuck Norris just to add to the terrors, but I'm not that crazy... whoops, there goes one...

Furthermore, to get this joke, read>http://newmoonmaiden.multiply.com/journal/item/86/Because_running_commentaries_dont_make_sense...?replies_read=63)

Thursday, July 10, 2008

How to Escape Zombies

I just lost an entire blog entry about a discussion with Faith on how to escape Zombies. Lechugas.

Here's the scenario: A horde of undead are coming towards the building. These are zombies out for brains.

Now there are three ways to go up the building: two fire exits (standard flights of stairs) and the elevator. Both can be easily accesible to zombies, even though death took away most of their dexterity (as well as ligaments). The elevator, someone stupid will eventually open up for them, so there's no hope in that.

We could buy time based on screams. The louder the screams, the closer the floor they're momentarily invading. And since Zombies can't pick locks, the gate and door will be able to hold them... for a while... (they have dead weight as a bonus).

You could spend your time packing up on essentials (everything sharp in the household, salt, a fresh change of undies) and ripping everything rippable to long shreds. Long shreds that can be bound into one very very very long and strong rope. Rip that sofa, the curtains (YES!!!!), the carpets, the bathroom mats, the rags, the clothes, the bedsheets (in every room, and those in storage of course), towels, Veronica Veils, etc etc etc. Use the dining table as an anchor for the rope, and if you've ever tried rapelling, going down won't be so hard.

From the balcony, you can already see what places don't have zombies (or potential Zombies for that matter... you can't trust ANYONE), aim to go down there.

If there are still zombies around, break out the condiments. We didn;t use the salt earlier cause we have only one canister, not enough to hold a whole lot of zombies back.

Once we get down, we'd have to steal Uncle Mulong's Corolla and try to get to the port (hoping the salinity of sea water will keep zombies away).





But what if these zombies where mutant zombies from MV Prncess of the Stars, trned mutant from the chemicals onboard?!?@$^$^&^#$#&^%^#$*$%^#*^$^&$#*^



I just scared Faith to sleep. :D

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Paranoia caused by Dobby Dodging

Nahawa ako sa depression mo te.

I'm particularly paranoid about being where I'm not wanted. As soon as I start feeling unwanted, I run away. Trauma taught me that.

Now that I'm having problems shooing a particularly pesky creature away, the situation rebounds on me that I often wonder: Do people see me the way I see her? Do people carefully listen to me and talk to me, itching til I'm out of earshot, to mock me and laugh at me afterwards?

We dodge her, we make elaborate plans to escape her, we gripe about her, we laugh about her, and she's totally oblivious to the neon signs we hang around her that SHE IS NOT WELCOME. I tried applying this to the self. There may be subtle clues that I be missing. Latch on the paranoia. Oh hello little clue, I didn't see you there.

I don't want to be a clueless dolt who thinks she's okay with people but is actually the butt of jokes when she's not around. I don't want to turn into another pitiful house elf.

I'm not saying that I'm guilty for what I'm doing because it's possible that I'm having a taste of my own medicine. I'm bitching. I don't like her. She don't get it. But who am I to try to feed her subliminal messaging if I myself don't get the messages thrown at me?

Friday, July 04, 2008

Freshie's Night 08

I'll post pictures later when I'm saner.

We were just there for a few minutes, most of it spent in a nearby karaoke, so there's very little I can say about Freshie's Night. From what I saw, it looked good.

Although we did harass a couple of cute froshmen to join ACTUP sometime in the night, and a little before that with scandalous camwhoring, we generally didn't do much.

We (Dama) played a modified Sleeping Beauty (with Faith's keyboard tweaking); I'm Only Happy When It Rains; and Paint it Black. We (surprisingly) played earlier than usual (this time we played at around 9), and the host introduced us with titles and stuff. First time dude, first time.

My mike's cord was crappy, so the vox for the first two songs were barely audible, and we still made a few, barely perceptible mistakes.

Nao I am foofed from all ze boot stomfing. I shall schlepp nao.

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Mediocrity

This is a rant.

Human density when it comes to implications is hard to deal with. Specially when you're trying to tell the person to scram.

It's tolerable when you're the only one bothered, but when the person's zeal is chasing away an entire body of people (people you were trying to get in the first place), it becomes a form of terrorism.

It's reached the point where people start avoiding meetings and org obligations just to get away from someone. It could've come off as a You & Me against the World thing if the person was even good with what she did and was merely misunderstood. The problem is she's not. She's a waste of time and energy (and money), and though she has the diligence of 10 people, she's the same person 10 talented people are running away from.

We lose $$$ because of mediocrity. Today, I just lost my week's allowance, and it's going to take a while before I get reimbursed. No wonder there are starving artists. Balancing out decadence is a costly thing. Art materials cost dude.

Friday, June 20, 2008

I have an imp for a teacher

So Myats has a devil for a sister, and though Ms Ranada is devilishly cheeky, she's not that feisty. So she's an imp. And she's sent me to thesis hell.

Ok, so I admit, the thesis proposals were corny, and I wasn't pitching them very enthusiastically. She asked me why I wasn't doing anything about advertising, saying my strengths were in creative conceptualization anyway. I told her I'd rather get into the movie industry after graduation than the ad industry. She told me to make a production. I dunno why I said yes. I dunno why I showed her the movie concept I pitched to Miss Marya. I dunno what I was thinking.

Stupid stupid stupid girl. Where in all 7 circles of hell are you going to find the moolah?!?!?

I could just change the concept and think of something that would require as little money as possible, but I'm stuck in the story, and my brain won't allow me to think of anything else in the context of movie material.

Cripes.

The movie concept's entitled "Bida complex", and plays at Philippine movie cliche's. And when you do a parody, it should at least reach the level of what it is you're parodizing in terms of cinematography at least. What do I know?!? I'd seen enough of real production to know that I don't know crap about commercial film production. And if I'm going to defend my thesis the same time my classmates do, I have to start looking for Producers nao.

Half of me wants to do the project, and half of me is telling me if I do accomplish it, it'll be mediocre, so it's better if I don't to escape the probability of getting embarassed big time.

Hay inay, bakit ka ba nanganak ng babaeng ambisyosa't nagsasalita bago mag-isip?

~~~

Cook Out updates (or at least what I know):

>The Logo is in the drawing board, and we've commished Ate Al (artistmonk) to do it
>The Program has been drawn up, and tradition and margin for errors have been given the highest priority.
>Dama de Noche will be playing, cept not as competitors, but as a guest band.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Ang alamat ni Maria de Cacao

There is a Maria story in almost every Region in the Philippines. Almost everywhere,the legend is that she's a beautiful stately lady with fair skin and long long locks who speaks in Spanish. She lives alone on a mountain and lends people her cutlery, gowns, golden combs, etc etc. She's harvests cacao ang delivers them on her Spanish galleon to different parts of the Philippines. She is known to live in waterfalls and other places.

The reality is (in my mind) that she is actually the Queen of a Chocolate Conglomerate, is terribly terribly obsessed with the aesthetic and wants to live in a world full of finery and luxury (wc is why she lends gowns and cutlery to the natives of the lands she abuses of their free resources, she hopes she gets invited to fine dinners and parties just like back in sweet home mother Spain). She has found out the secret to longevity and to evarlasting byuuuteee: Not too much sun and hours and hours of sleep (which is why she's seldom seen), and a top secret chemical that comes from the skin of cacao (I just came up with that on the fly). She parks her galleon in the crests of Waterfall formations and actually uses super advanced technology (she stole from Lemurian civilization) to make her galleon invisible AND flexible (to fit arrow rivers), not to mention uber powerful (which explains why it goes upstream to the waterfalls). She's also a PETA sponsor (she has her own Natural sanctuary in Makiling), and she a little too vain for her own good (she sets up "apparitions" in different parts of the world and basks in worship)

Idol nako si Maria.

~~~

Gais. I have no idea how all of you got here, or why you're even taking a speculative fiction post seriously. If you're all here for homework, go to a library for facts (and correct grammar and correct spelling). You won't get that from some ditzy girl's blog. I repeat: this is in no way an academic post, and you cannot expect me to make you copypasta for filipino fables class or whatever. (edit: feb 27 2012)

Also, thanks for the lulz.