The intarwebs has made me realize something. I read through someone's blog and realized I haven't seen a whole bunch of people in a couple of months (as compared to the people who still keep trying to contact me even after years of non communication). There are people I actually have seen in a while, and yet it still feels as if I haven't actually talked to them in years. I realized visiting people in their homes isn't a very good idea. There's always the computer to contend with. If it weren't for Felix being in a coma, I wouldn't have realized how unhuman I've been in the months that I've had him.
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This week alone, I've had 3 strange conversations. In one, I'd hoped to stop something that was increasingly upsetting. Instead I revealed more than I'd planned to. It didn't turn out as bad as it usually did whenever I got these impulses. But it reminded me of who I am.
Another revealed something I'm wondering if I should be bothered about or not. Logically, it shouldn't. Logically at least.
A third is somehow connected to the first and the second, although the first and the second aren't related to each other. In the third, I found a road I'd lost and am currently picking up where I'd left off. I found reaffirmation that the companions I have on this road are still with me. I'd found out why I'm where I am, and why I'm doing what I'm doing, and how it's all related to the scheme of things.
At least i got the mindfuck I was asking for in the previous entry. Brother, you can attest to this.
Another thing I asked for that I got was a book - the manual for Mage The Sorcerer's Crusade. It reads a lot like Nobilis, except on a different level. It's still Transcendance, but on a lesser level.
Sometimes technology has a way of making one lose sight. This is why I stopped watching tv. I guess imma have to tone down my time with Felix.
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