How to Escape Zombies

I just lost an entire blog entry about a discussion with Faith on how to escape Zombies. Lechugas.

Here's the scenario: A horde of undead are coming towards the building. These are zombies out for brains.

Now there are three ways to go up the building: two fire exits (standard flights of stairs) and the elevator. Both can be easily accesible to zombies, even though death took away most of their dexterity (as well as ligaments). The elevator, someone stupid will eventually open up for them, so there's no hope in that.

We could buy time based on screams. The louder the screams, the closer the floor they're momentarily invading. And since Zombies can't pick locks, the gate and door will be able to hold them... for a while... (they have dead weight as a bonus).

You could spend your time packing up on essentials (everything sharp in the household, salt, a fresh change of undies) and ripping everything rippable to long shreds. Long shreds that can be bound into one very very very long and strong rope. Rip that sofa, the curtains (YES!!!!), the carpets, the bathroom mats, the rags, the clothes, the bedsheets (in every room, and those in storage of course), towels, Veronica Veils, etc etc etc. Use the dining table as an anchor for the rope, and if you've ever tried rapelling, going down won't be so hard.

From the balcony, you can already see what places don't have zombies (or potential Zombies for that matter... you can't trust ANYONE), aim to go down there.

If there are still zombies around, break out the condiments. We didn;t use the salt earlier cause we have only one canister, not enough to hold a whole lot of zombies back.

Once we get down, we'd have to steal Uncle Mulong's Corolla and try to get to the port (hoping the salinity of sea water will keep zombies away).





But what if these zombies where mutant zombies from MV Prncess of the Stars, trned mutant from the chemicals onboard?!?@$^$^&^#$#&^%^#$*$%^#*^$^&$#*^



I just scared Faith to sleep. :D